California pining

Whew!  I am back from my conference in London and starting to feel a little more relaxed.  Well, I felt relaxed this morning, and then the panic about finishing chapter rewrites before the end of the month really set in.  All the members of my panel deemed the session a success, and it was fun to meet so many scholars and hear some great papers.  There were tons and tons of Nederlanders at the event, and I think I may have spoken more Dutch in London than English.
I would write about food in London, but considering the fact that I basically lived off of Pret a Manger sandwiches and Costa coffee for three days, there's very little for me to say on the matter this time around.  Instead, I will do a fluff post made up almost entirely of pictures of my time in SoCal.  Sadly, I didn't take that many pictures in California, I think because we were just busy having a good time with our friends...and oh yeah, getting ready for the conference.  Here are just a few things that made going back to the West Coast so great and just so different from my life in Amsterdam:

Beautiful views on a bright, sunny day at the Getty.  Regan still has a reader card for the Getty Research Institute, which means we got to park there for free!  Admission to the Getty is free, but there is a $15 parking charge, and it's pretty damn hard to get up there without a car.  That is why it pays every once in a while to be a graduate student.

Primo's Doughnuts.  Regan and James are regulars there.  Mrs. Primo even came out to give a goody bag of doughnuts to Regan's sister, who was leaving for Kansas after a visit out to L.A. I love a good doughnut.

Do not tell me that you wouldn't all do the same thing.  I look forward to getting a pedi before each and every visit.  Niek said he finally felt like he was on vacation after his pedi session.  The guy who did mine made a few comments about my runner's calluses, but he assured me that he had seen worse.  His words didn't seem to match with his facial expression, and I think we was relieved when I asked for the "extra" treatment.  God forbid my toes have calluses on them.

Ice cream isn't a food I really associate with L.A.; it's more of a frozen yogurt town these days.  However, if you're going to have ice cream, it will be fancy and made in small batches by cool hipsters somewhere near downtown.  I had some mocha Bailey's concoction and a scoop of a fancier version of cookies 'n cream.  The woman behind me in line asking which ice creams were vegan made it clear I was no longer in Europe.  Like the Dutch would ever consider a non-dairy based ice cream. 

Honestly, there is really nothing more to say about this.  Huevos Rancheros is an amazing dish!  Anything that combines breakfast with guacamole is a-okay in my book.  We went here twice for breakfast.  I miss you already, corn tortillas and avocados!

Last food picture, I swear.  Regan and James wanted to take us to a place in the Art District called, Wurstküche.  I love that the name of the place is in German but on the menu the sizes for the fries are written in Dutch, you know, because they're "Belgian" fries.  They actually weren't really Belgian style fries, but they were good with the handmade Bratwurst and the five kinds of mustard.
I laughed a little when I noticed the children's birthday party winding down in the private events room next to our table.  The cool parents were leaving with their little ones just as the younger crowd was showing up for happy hour.  I guarantee I never had a birthday party at a downtown hot spot when I was growing up.  I ate a lot of Usinger's Sasuage, though.  Does that count for something?




We did plenty of other things in between all the eating: Niek and I got to run up Runyon Canyon a few times, I went to a knitting store and spent too much on fancy types of yarn, we had plenty of good coffee, the conference presentation went fairly well, and so on and so forth.  A big highlight was the hike to a waterfall in the San Gabriel Mountains.

We hiked along the path of a 1920s camping resort.  The above sign was my favorite.  Regan is determined to rent the cottage pictured below for a weekend getaway.

James found a salamander, and then we proceeded to take about a million photos of the little guy before we let him slowly (ever so slowly, it was cold that day) take off for a more secluded spot.

I'll leave you with this slightly cheesy picture of me and Niek at the waterfall.  And before you start thinking, "Whoah, Diana, maybe you did have a few too many helpings of taco salads and french fries," I promise I have come by that little belly honestly.  It's only going to get bigger this summer, and hopefully in the fall I'll have a little person to show for all this gestating I'm doing.  L.A. was so much fun, and I miss all my friends so much already.  However, it's a good feeling to be home in Amsterdam.  I've got tons to get done in the next six months, and it's hard to write in L.A. on vacation.

The plural of conference is insanity

I have a piece of advice for graduate students:
Do not, under any circumstances think that presenting at two conferences in the span of one week is a good idea...ever.  This is especially true if you have to cross nine time zones to go to your first conference and then re-cross those time zones to go to your second.  If you find that you absolutely must present at multiple conferences, even though I have told you not to, at least don't be a procrastinator like me and make sure you finish both of your papers well in advance of the deadlines.
I was in L.A. last week giving a paper on a panel with Regan and our friend Naomi.  L.A. was awesome, and I can't wait to post lots of pictures of delicious food and one really fun hike to a waterfall.  The conference went pretty well, but it came at the end of our trip.  By the time we got back to Amsterdam on Monday morning, I was wiped out.  I have spent the last few days either sleeping off the exhaustion of jet-lag or freaking out about a paper for another conference that is so not near to being done.  I'm not sure I can put two coherent sentences together at this point, let alone an entire paper for a very important conference.  I'm terrified that I will embarrass myself and forever brand myself as "that woman who gave a shitty paper about intellectual networks in Asia."  Isn't that everyone's fear?
I have to get back to my paper now, even though I would prefer to be doing almost anything other than what needs to get done.  Stress makes me want to avoid that which I need to do most.
That was my advice to you for the day.  You are welcome.

Winter Rejuvenation

Regan and I were talking last night, and we both decided that it is high time that we get this blog up and running again.  Of course, it won’t be quite the same, now that Regan is back in Los Angeles and I continue to feel less and less like a visitor in Amsterdam.  We’re both doing our best to write our dissertations without losing our sanity, and if I could speak for both of us here, starting the blog back up will provide both of us with some very nice “break” moments (aka procrastination) when it feels like the cycle of researching/writing/editing feels like a little more then either of us can bear. 

The last few months have been a little rough as I struggled to finish a chapter that should not have taken as long to write as it did.  It felt like a terrible weight hanging over my head, and for some reason, I didn’t make any forward progress on it for months and months.  It made me pretty unhappy, and it certainly didn’t please my advisor.  Feeling stuck can be a pretty common feeling among grad students, as I have only recently really acknowledged.  Even as I recognize I’m not the only one this has happened to, I’m not sure what the solution to the problem is.

But then somewhere around November, some switch got flipped and I started to actually want to do my work.  I knew it was really better when I started putting in more miles on my runs and I felt like reading cooking blogs again.  Maybe it was the start of Bokbier season or the fact that pumpkins were available at the market.  I don’t know, and I certainly can’t explain why during the shorter, cold days of winter I feel like working again. I can’t explain it, but I’m happy about it.

So, while I continue to go crazy writing three more chapters and two conference papers, Regan and I will once again amuse ourselves with our blog. 

On writing and a recipe

This is more a post about being a grad student than living abroad.  As much as I would like to say that my life is more adventurous because I live in Europe, it's really kind of boring.  That is because, as my advisor never ceases to remind me, I have a dissertation to write.

For the first few years of grad school, I dreamed of the day I would finally be finished taking classes, done with preparing for exams, and even free for a little while from the responsibilities of teaching.  There was going to be this magical time in my future when I would sit in my little office in the mornings while I wrote chapter after chapter.  I was going to finish my writing and be done with my program in record time and then get some great professorship somewhere.  Yes, and also in this dream scenario in between all that productive writing, I would have time to do all this other stuff I love, like running and baking with some canning on the side, and then I would master some other equally awesome activity like becoming an expert seamstress. Well...ha ha hahahahahahahaha haha ha ha ha...ha.  I have no idea what kind of crack I was smoking, but that is not how dissertation writing happens for 99.5% of the people out there, I'm inclined to believe.  Okay, I have known maybe two incredibly disciplined and organized people, who wrote awesome dissertations and finished way ahead of schedule, but in case this post hasn't made it clear, I am not one of those people.

This first phase of writing has been really difficult, but I think getting started on any large project can be a daunting experience suck.  I thought maybe it's because I up and moved to another country, but as it so happens, my friends in California have experienced some of the same issues I have.  So apparently, the difficulties related to sitting by yourself while you attempt to write and write and write and write while keeping yourself motivated are about the same for everyone.  (If writing is really easy for you and you produce academic research at lightning speed, please do not tell me.  It would just demoralize me and break my spirit.)  But isn't that how everyone's job is?  Even if you have your dream career, isn't it just difficult sometimes to get out of bed in the morning?  I have my productive weeks and my less than productive weeks (guess which kind this is), and I'm hoping that the super-manic, incredibly fruitful weeks balance out the ones in which I would rather stare at my wall all day than write a chapter.

Cooking this year has been a wonderful therapeutic tool for those days when the writing or the attempt at writing didn't go so well; on my great writing days, it's a welcome reward for a day's work well-done.  Still, cooking and really thinking about how my food relates to my own culture as well as the one I find myself immersed in has been a great outlet.  It's also forced me on many an occasion to leave my office and go interact with the world.  There have been weeks in which I have only left the house to go for a run, and I have also realized that I have gone five days without speaking to anyone other than Niek.  I mean, I live in Amsterdam, for crying out loud!  I should celebrate the fact that I live somewhere awesome.  Grocery shopping gets me back out among the living.  I hop on my bicycle and at the very least say, "hello" to the guy behind the counter while I'm buying my carrots.  Leave it to food to force you to interact with society.

I don't want to leave you without a recipe for an easy dinner that makes me happy to serve and even happier to eat.  When Regan and James were here, I made this quick, laid-back meal for the night they returned from Belgium.  It was also the first Monday after the Holidays; Niek was back at work and I was back to writing.  After all the rich food and all the Holiday goodies I needed something that was simple, warm and comforting.  I've made these tarts with different combinations of vegetables and various soft cheeses for the mixture, so adapt it to your tastes and the season.
The Belgian Waffle and the fresh mint tea are optional.

  Potato Leek Soup with Simple Mushroom and Bell Pepper Tarts:

Rustic Potato-Leek Soup
adapted from The New Best Recipes
3-4 leeks (mine were fairly large and thick)
a few tablespoons of olive oil (enough to coat the bottom of your pan)
1 Tbsp. flour
5 c. chicken broth
1 bay leaf
1 3/4 lbs. red potatoes (about 5 medium), cut into 3/4-inch dice (I leave the skins on for texture and flavor)

1. Cut off the roots and tough dark green portion of the leeks and discard.  Slice the leaks in half lengthwise and chop into 1/2 inch pieces.
2. Heat the oil in a large stockpot or Dutch oven over medium-low heat.  Stir in the leeks, increase the heat to medium, cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until the leeks are tender but not mushy, 15 minutes; do not brown the leeks.  Sprinkle the flour over the leeks and stir to coat evenly.  Cook until the flour dissolves, about 1-2 minutes.
3.  Increase the heat to high; whisking constatnly, gradually add the broth.  Add the bay leaf and potatoes, cover, and bring to a boil.  Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer, covered until the potatoes are almost tender, 5-7 minutes.  Remove the pot from the heat and let stand, covered, until the potatoes are tender and the flavors meld (10-15 minutes).
4.  Season with salt and pepper to taste and serve immediately.

Mushroom and Bell Pepper Tarts
adapted from Simple Leek and Ricotta Tarts at Epicurious.com, October 2007

1/4-1/2 lb. chèvre, a.k.a. goat's milk cheese, softened (This weight is approximate.  I usually just pick out the package I am pretty sure will be enough for four people.)
1/4 c. grated Parmesan cheese
1 egg
8 pre-cut squares of puff pastry
1/4 lb. mushrooms, thinly sliced (I usually choose button mushrooms because of availability and price)
1 large red bell pepper, thinly sliced
2 tsp. fresh thyme leaves (dried are also fine, but you will probably need less)
pepper

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C (355°F).
2. Meanwhile, place the chèvre, parmesan and eggs in a bowl and whisk until smooth. Add in the thyme and grind a bit of pepper into the mixture.
3. Place four puff pastry squares on a cookie sheet.  Spread the cheese mixture over the pastry squares leaving a 2 cm (3/4 inch) border. Place some mushrooms and bell pepper on top.  Layer each tart with another puff pastry square and repeat the process with cheese mixture, mushrooms and bell pepper.
5.  Bake for 25–30 minutes and serve.

Why I haven't posted in a week.

I have to submit a chapter tomorrow to be reviewed at a colloquium, a meeting where people sit around a critique your work.  Needless to say that I am a big ball of stress, and I haven't been cooking or thinking about writing about food since Regan left.  I hope life will return to it's normal routine by the end of Tuesday.  That is, until the next time I have a chapter deadline.  Lookout end of March!

Late Night Chat (a.k.a. what grad students talk about when they're not actually cooking or working)

The following is an excerpt from a recent Skype chat we had.  I will actually post about cooking and food again sometime in the near future.  I just need to finish a huge amount of little work first.  Next week, I am all about the spritz cookies!

[12/15/09 10:41:55 PM] Diana : And then I realized last week that I should have looked at a particular document in London last year, but I didn't

[12/15/09 10:42:15 PM] Diana : and know I read references to it  all over the place in books and articles I've been reading for the past two years

[12/15/09 10:42:24 PM] Diana : Tell me how that one escaped me!

[12/15/09 10:42:34 PM] Regan : I understand!

[12/15/09 10:42:50 PM] Regan : I'm always finding things that I should have looked at.

[12/15/09 10:43:21 PM] Regan : Hell, I still haven't read about 90 percent of the secondary sources that I should have!!

[12/15/09 10:43:46 PM] Diana : Yes, but you don't have to present a chapter in less than a month

[12/15/09 10:43:48 PM] Diana : :)

[12/15/09 10:43:50 PM] Regan : Anyway, I still think that you're super fancy and totally awesome for doing such difficult research.

[12/15/09 10:44:06 PM] Diana : lol.  It's not that fancy

[12/15/09 10:44:14 PM] Diana : but I did find this super cool quote today:

[12/15/09 10:44:35 PM] Diana : "Former director van den Heuvel has consumed himself so much in his agitation, either from the furies of his conscience or from fear of punishment, that he remains alive without hope, abandoned not only from his friends, but also from the old woman who had nursed him, as if in retaliation, he now has to pay for his former brutality."

[12/15/09 10:45:18 PM] Diana : Doesn't that sound so mean and vindictive?  The man died soon after.  K had been writing to him begging for a post transfer, which he was never given

[12/15/09 10:48:15 PM] Regan : Did K write that?

[12/15/09 10:48:25 PM] Diana : Yeah.  To one of his friends

[12/15/09 10:48:48 PM] Regan : sad.

[12/15/09 10:49:03 PM] Diana : Yes, sad, but also an awesome quote

[12/15/09 10:49:31 PM] Diana : Apparently this is how you're remembered when the weak ties of intellectual friendships break down

[12/15/09 10:50:26 PM] Regan : (shake) You're such an intellectual historian.

[12/15/09 10:50:37 PM] Diana : What does that mean?

[12/15/09 10:50:38 PM] Regan : Don't try to deny your true self.

[12/15/09 10:50:43 PM] Diana : I'm cultural history all the way

[12/15/09 10:51:07 PM] Diana : You and [mutual friend] can go play in your little social history corner

[12/15/09 10:51:09 PM] Diana : :)

[12/15/09 10:51:27 PM] Regan : whatevs.

[12/15/09 10:53:07 PM] Regan : Don't worry - I'll have some awesome quotes about books in Yorubaland to share with you soon.   (y)

[12/15/09 10:53:18 PM] Diana : awesome

[12/15/09 10:54:21 PM] Diana : I can't wait to hear more about what you have found.

[12/15/09 10:55:09 PM] Regan : it will only take one minute to tell - not that much!

[12/15/09 10:55:26 PM] Diana : oh, stop it!

[12/15/09 10:57:14 PM] Regan : I'm not trying to be modest . . .

[12/15/09 10:57:39 PM] Diana : I know.  But it seems almost all academics are self-deprecating

[12/15/09 10:58:38 PM] Regan : But you know what would encourage me?  A fresh salad, some crusty bread and smelly cheese and a big glass of wine.

[12/15/09 11:01:39 PM] Diana : I don't know if I can help you with a fresh salad, but I can help with the rest

[12/15/09 11:01:52 PM] Diana : Endives are in season, though

[12/15/09 11:02:01 PM] Diana : I could make a salad out of that

[12/15/09 11:03:12 PM] Regan : that sounds good.  really, any fresh vegetables - everything is cooked here, for safety.

[12/15/09 11:03:27 PM] Diana : oh, right

[12/15/09 11:03:40 PM] Diana : That would be tough for me

[12/15/09 11:04:58 PM] Regan : But the fruit is amazing!

[12/15/09 11:06:06 PM] Diana : Why would you tell me that?

[12/15/09 11:06:21 PM] Diana : I've been eating bananas and tangerines for the last month